So I finally finished transcribing my mom’s words onto the computer. I’m really proud of this. Her whole journal is over 100 Microsoft Word pages – besides my schedule, that’s why this has taken over a year so far. I had kept these two journals since I was nine, but I was always worried that something bad would happen to them like a spill, a fire, or just losing them in a move. It’s also a relief to be done with this. Writing her words and this blog was a pretty cathartic, exhausting experience. I could always remember days at a time here or there, but to go on that three month journey again was harder than I thought. Hopefully, we’re headed to the fun part now. And hopefully, this blog is a little more fun from here on out too. I want to describe the process of getting a book published now, so stay with me and enjoy it.
I wanted to share two sections of the last part of my mom’s journal. The first part just shows how close we became after this experience. Three days before I left the hospital, she wrote:
“It’s 10:05 pm and the love of my life is going to sleep. I love to look at him, listen to him laugh, make him laugh. God gave me such a gift. I don’t think He could take something so important to someone away. I wonder if it’s all a test for me or him?”
I’m sure it was a test, and it was a good one at that. I wish I had read this journal more growing up. It would have made me appreciate all that my mom went through during this process too. The journal ends and there are a lot of blank pages, but on the last page, there is a piece from Erma Bombeck. I haven’t checked any of this, but it doesn’t really matter because I’m writing what’s in my mom’s book. Either way, it’s great writing and a good way to end the journal.
“Hope. Sometimes it has two legs, sometimes not. Hope is small. Sometimes it has hair and sometimes it is bald. It can laugh and cry in the same breathe. It doesn’t have to talk. Its very presence is enough to change the course of your life. It has a name. It is called a child fighting cancer.”
On August 3rd, I have a meeting with the talented Carolyn Rubenstein (@clrsimple2) to discuss next steps in the book writing process, and I will write then. Until then.